Week 10: Not-so-final Week

With my presentation less than two weeks away, my project is coming to a close. Sort of. Technically, this should be the last week of my internship, but I'm planning on coming to the clinic for the rest of April and May because we still need to submit our research paper. Dr. Zieman suggested that we try to contact the patients in our study to ask about their employment, housing, and marriage status. Considering the fact that we are trying to measure the impact of speech therapy on the lives of patients, I desperately want to include this question-and-answer section in our paper. However, I don't know how feasible this is because most of the patients have not had contact with the hospital in years (DV patients have been known to flee the state too). I won't have time to add this data to my school presentation either. It would be a nice addition, anyway. 

This week, I had some technical difficulties with my most recent data, and an entire day's worth of work was lost. Just swallowed up by the void known as OneDrive. I also observed a man who is currently under investigation for the disappearance of his girlfriend. You know, just another day at the office. 

It's kind of funny that all of these things seem so normal to me now after only a few months at the clinic. I've learned so much during my time here. First of all, I learned all about the complexities of traumatic brain injury and its symptoms (and I may or may not have begun diagnosing my family members with concussions whenever they complained of a headache). I learned just how pervasive domestic violence has become in our society, and how much of it goes unreported. I learned why patients might be considered "non-compliant" and how to interact with patients in general. I've gained some serious life skills here. Are there things I could work on? Definitely. But I have plenty of time to sort out my social ineptitude. I'm just glad that I have this experience under my belt now. I look forward to pursuing this research until the very end. Or at least until the paper is finally published.

Week 9

I'm observing patients again, which means I'm not stuck behind my computer all day! 

I mean, it's not like remaking spreadsheets is the absolute worst thing ever. I just don't want grid lines permanently branded into my eyeballs. 

Coincidentally, my very first patients were also here on the day I decided to stop being antisocial.  It was really gratifying to see how they've improved over the course of a few months. I also met some new patients and had a few... new experiences. For the first time, I was forced to leave the room while observing a patient. I didn't have a problem with it because I ask patients as soon as I meet them if they're comfortable with me in the room. Most of them agree, and this one did too. Unfortunately, she became very anxious in the middle of her evaluation and ran out to get some fresh air. It was at this point that I left because I didn't want to risk upsetting her further. I think this made me realize just how long-lasting the emotional trauma of domestic abuse can be. It was a bit unusual that I hadn't seen someone so sensitive yet, considering the subject at hand here. Most of my patients completely brush over the topic of domestic violence when they tell their stories, so seeing this woman panic was kind of a wake-up call. So many of these people are still suffering in silence...

As I'm writing both of my papers, I'm beginning to understand that the personal aspects of working with human subjects are lost in a research report. It's difficult to explain the downcast eyes, the fidgeting, the shame in a scientific journal. The social stigma and the sheer prevalence of domestic violence in the nation are the reasons why I decided to help this population in the first place. Meeting and connecting with these people only encouraged me to continue. I can't translate that into numbers.